


No Vice-Captains In Football

by sirius



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-30
Updated: 2012-03-30
Packaged: 2017-11-02 18:18:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/371939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirius/pseuds/sirius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic was written in 2008 and includes explicit sexual content.</p>
    </blockquote>





	No Vice-Captains In Football

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written in 2008 and includes explicit sexual content.

When Kame slings an arm around Koki's neck, he bites down on his lower lip. He looks at Koki through upturned eyelashes and he opens his mouth to say something. Koki doesn't want him to speak so he smiles a bright winning smile that shuts Kame up. His body relaxes and Koki presses his nose against Kame's until the shutter goes off.

The realisation that he's in love with Kame (has been for some time) comes later. In that moment, it's a clawing feeling in his stomach, a tingle in his fingertips. 

They look at the picture on the computer for a long time, Kame leaning in and Koki's hands on his shoulders. Though he can't see him, Koki can feel Kame's mouth stretching into a smile. When Kame rises, he turns and they hug. 

“It looks great,” Kame says. “Thank you for working hard.”

 

Time moves on and Koki thinks he's cracked it, cracked Kame. On a special episode of Cartoon KAT-TUN, the pair of them head off to Chiba in a taxi. Koki strokes Kame's little finger in the backseat, the two of them giggling like teenagers. They fall asleep together, fingers tied together. Kame smiles at him the whole day, the genuine smile, not the peacekeeping one. Koki has butterflies, can't stop grinning back. 

A month later, he still hasn't gone beyond furtive smiles at filming, little brushes of their fingers in the dark. During the filming of the _Don't U Ever Stop_ PV, Jin gives them both strange looks but Koki tries his hardest to ignore it. He's working up to it. He'll get there, in the end. 

In the end, he's about to screw his courage up into a ball and tell Kame how he feels when an announcement from Johnny scuppers everything. The group is to head to the office first thing the next morning. A nagging worry turns over in Koki's stomach and he knows that this isn't the time to add to Kame's concerns. He sends Kame an e-mail that he hopes is reassuring but doesn't hear anything back. 

“Fuck,” he says, tapping out an e-mail to Jin. Jin always knows the gossip. 

 

_I'm in LA_ , Jin sends back. _What's up?_

 

_You better not be on hiatus again???_ Koki sends back. 

 

_No_ , Jin sends. _Coming back in the middle of the night. What's going on? Fuck, Kame's ringing, hang-._

 

Koki tosses his cell onto the coffee table and tries to pretend that their history doesn't hurt. He wonders what Kame wants and why he always has to want it from Jin. 

 

“You're probably wondering why you're here,” Johnny is saying, staring down the line with a baleful expression. 

There's a pause, and then Kame comes forward. “Yes,” he says. “We're all very curious about it.”

Koki looks down the line. Nobody looks all that curious. Ueda looks as though he's been awake all night. Jin _has_ been awake all night and barely looks conscious. Maru is looking at the floor and twining his hands around one another. Junno is looking straight ahead but his back is ramrod straight. Nobody is curious. Worried would be a better expression. 

“Well,” Johnny says. “My plan is to stage a television series with you all as the main cast.”

“Acting?” Kame asks. Suddenly, everybody breathes again. 

“Of a kind,” Johnny says. “Your fans are growing up. Two years ago, they were just kids. Now they're young adults, looking to you to guide them.”

“God help them,” Maru mutters into Jin's shoulder. There's a hint of a smirk on Jin's face but he does well to control it. Koki scowls at them both. Johnny ignores the three of them.

“Indeed,” Johnny says. “Many of your fans exist in small worlds -- school, work, family. Can you remember being that young? It was a lifetime ago.”

Kame is the only one who still looks worried -- worried enough for the six of them. “So we're going to do a TV show that proves we can still connect with our fans?”

“Exactly,” Johnny says. 

“Are fans going to interview us?” Junno asks. “Are we granting fan wishes?”

“You're going to get jobs for a month,” Johnny says. “Ordinary jobs. Relying on your personalities is risky but needs must. A lot of these kids are moving onto the next big thing. We have to keep you at the top of the industry by doing something different.”

“Jobs in the real world?” Koki says. “And they're going to film us doing them?”

“Yes,” Johnny says. “We have worked tirelessly to gain permission from the employers to film, provided we do our bit over the course of the next year with publicity and so on. Each of you will be placed in a different job and you'll be filmed both in that workplace and also at home. It's important that fans get a sense of the real you.”

“In our homes?” Jin says. “Seriously?”

“Not your homes,” Johnny corrects, though he doesn't look at Jin. “You're going to live in two apartments for ease of filming. Three members per apartment. The address, keys, budgets and jobs for each one of you are in the files in front of you. Take them, read them, memorise them. Filming will start on Monday. You have this weekend off, so make the most of the time to prepare.”

“Thank you for this opportunity,” Kame says, and there's a slow succession of thanks. Johnny nods, once, and dismisses them for further briefing from their manager, who looks even more concerned than they do. 

“I might go to LA,” Junno says, out of earshot, flicking through his file. 

“I think it sounds like fun,” Jin says. “I hope I get to work with cars. A stunt driver. Or an English teacher.”

“Hah,” Koki says. “Some English teacher you'd be. I want to be a secret agent-”

“I get to be a teacher!” Junno exclaims, rifling through his file. “What a relief. I thought I'd end up-”

“A waiter,” Ueda says. “God. I need coffee.”

“What about you?” Koki says, sidling up to Kame, who is reading his file as he walks. He's relying on Koki to stop him walking into things. Koki wraps a casual arm around his waist and tries to pretend it doesn't mean anything. 

“I'm working for Ginza Kanematsu,” Kame says. “I used to stare into their windows with my ex, she loved those shoes. Isn't that funny?”

“Secret agent,” Koki says, over and over as he turns the page of his folder. “Secret agent. Secret agent...damnit, taxi driver.”

“That's just as good,” Kame says. “Haven't you seen _Collateral_?”

“Yeah,” Koki says. “I think they all die in the end.”

Kame thinks about this. “No, the taxi driver doesn't. He just ends up scarred for life.”

“Oh,” Koki says. “Well, that's alright then.”

“Maru's got to be a postman,” Jin is laughing, hanging on Maru's shoulders. “You'll have to be up even earlier than we do now!”

“Let's go to LA,” Ueda says. “I can leave right now.”

 

Member / Job / Apartment

_Kamenashi Kazuya / Salesman at Ginza Kanematsu / 1  
Akanishi Jin / Salesman at Issey Miyake, Roppongi Hills / 1  
Koki Tanaka / Taxi driver / 1_

_Junno Taguchi / Assistant teacher at Keimei Gakuen / 2  
Nakamaru Yuichi / Postman / 2  
Ueda Tatsuya / Waiter at Daidaiya restaurant, Ginza / 2_

 

_Interview with Kamenashi Kazuya and the director, recorded Friday 02/05, 2.15pm._

**D: Are you nervous about the challenge you've been set?**  
K: Ah...it's daunting. But we'll all try our hardest and put on a good show for the fans.   
**D: Rumour has it that there are going to be two competing shows, following the two apartments. What do you think about that?**  
K: I don't know about that, but I think that in terms of our apartment, we've all got good assignments. I hope that the fans enjoy watching it.   
**D: And what about living with Akanishi Jin, for the first time in many years?**  
K: We'll both do our best!

 

“House rules,” Koki says, sitting on the floor in front of the television with a notepad. The apartment is fairly spacious -- surprisingly, it doesn't look like it was built to engineer arguments. Kame sits on the sofa with one leg across his knee, playing with the laces on his boot. Jin is curled up at the other side, propping up his chin. Both of them are staring at Koki as if he's speaking Cantonese.

“Well?” he says. “Come on. You don't live together without some rules, right? We've all grown up with brothers, we know how this works.” 

“Okay,” Kame says, warming to the idea. “No, I think rules are a good idea. We need structure, right, Jin?”

Jin looks at Kame. “Sure,” he says. “You go first.”

“Alright,” Kame says. “How about a bathroom rota?”

“That's an idea,” Koki says. 

“Seriously?” Jin says. “Can't we just-”

“Well, how would you do it?” Koki says. “I mean, what, did you just all fight over it at your house?”

“Pretty much,” Jin says. “It works, I usually won.”

“Right, well,” Kame says. “It won't work here. Bathroom rota. Who gets up first?”

They both look at him, Koki with a hint of a smile, Jin covering his mouth with his hand. “Alright,” Kame grumbles. “I'm going first, then. Who's next?”

“Koki,” Jin says. “But if you guys use up all the hot water I'm moving out.”

“Okay,” Koki says. “Write that down. Consideration with the hot water.”

Kame leans over and grabs the notepad, beginning to scribble. Koki's eyes never leave Kame's hips as he moves and when he looks away, Jin is staring right at him. Jin's cheek muscles are taut, his eyes dark and unsure. Koki looks down at the carpet, until he's sure he can trust himself not to blush.

“Right,” Kame says, cheerfully unaware. “What else.”

“Nobody's having any girls here,” Koki says. “Should've been obvious, but-” he looks at Jin.

“Oi,” Jin says. “I'm not that stupid. Or that-”

“Well, good,” Kame says. “No girls. Or guys, either, Jin.”

“You're here,” Jin says. “And you're a guy. Does that mean you have to leave now?”

“Only if you're having sex with me, which you're not-” Kame retorts.

“Thank God,” Koki says. Everybody turns to him, and he adds, “I don't need to see that.”

“No sex, period,” Kame says, scrawling out his own writing. “There are going to be cameras in every room except the bathroom. We need to act appropriately.”

“Right,” Koki says. “That's right. What about cooking?”

“Rota,” Jin says, leaning back and putting his feet up on the coffee table. Koki swipes them off, and Kame treats him to a furtive smile. Jin scowls.

“I might be doing night shifts,” Koki points out. “Maybe a rota isn't such a great idea.”

“Okay, let's do a shopping rota, then,” Kame says. “We can all cook for ourselves.”

“You earn more than us,” Jin says. “So you can pay for it.”

“Jin!” Kame says, laughing. “I don't think so. Koki-”

“Nah,” Koki says, grinning. “I agree with him. You're earning the wages in this household, Kame. You get to foot the bills.”

Jin isn't scowling anymore.

“I'm moving out,” Kame says. “Maru can swap with me.”

“We'll buy alcohol,” Jin says. “And toilet roll. You can buy the shopping. There, even.”

“That is-”

“Isn't the football on?” Jin says, to Koki, who lunges for the remote and squeezes himself between the two of them on the sofa. Kame grits his jaw at the noise of the crowd and the commentary and the stupid, stupid way Jin hisses in breath when nothing's happening-

“I think we should be preparing for the week ahead,” he says. “The cameramen will be setting up on Sunday.”

“After the game,” Koki says.

“Yeah,” Jin murmurs. “After the game.”

 

Koki worries about Jin being around. It isn't that he doesn't like Jin, it's that Kame is different around Jin, has all this history and conflict and things Koki doesn't totally understand. Kame is nervous and on-edge and really, what Koki wants is a nice relaxing time. Nice and relaxed means that Kame won't freak out when Koki tells him what he thinks about when he goes to bed at night. Besides, Jin keeps cornering Koki and trying to talk to him, _all the time_ , and it doesn't make any sense.

He goes to bed around ten, even though it's early and Jin and Kame are still up. He's still awake at half past which means that he hears Jin and Kame moving from the living area to one of their bedrooms, where there's the kind of hushed talking he associates with kids and happier times. His stomach wrenches a bit and try as he might, he can't get to sleep. 

The only good thing about living in the apartment is that the cameras will soon be around. Jin and Kame won't be able to do this for long – and then maybe Kame will look around and realise that there's other people for him in the world besides Akanishi Jin. 

There's a small hoot of laughter and Koki shoves the pillow over his face.

 

“I can't believe you're going to sell shoes,” Jin says. 

“It's perfect,” Kame says. “I love shoes. I mean-”

“You're a fetishist,” Jin says, poking him in the shoulder. “You're going to go insane by the third day and get found in the back room, stroking the stock.”

“I will not,” Kame says. “I have a work ethic.”

“'Miiiiiiiiiiiine', you'll be hissing,” Jin continues. “With your eyebrows all furrowed and scary.”

“Well, what about you,” Kame says. “Working in an _underwear_ store? Are they completely crazy?”

“I think it's a great idea,” Jin says. “Besides, I can't do anything if I have to stay behind the desk, right?”

“I suppose so,” Kame says. “You'll flirt with all the customers, though.”

“I've got to have some fun,” Jin says. “You're going to be groping the shoes, so.”

“I am not!” Kame splutters, shoving Jin with his elbow, which soon ends up in a tussle. “Remember our reputation,” he says, as Jin bites his inner arm. 

“I thought you'd calmed down since I returned from LA,” Jin says. 

“That was a ruse,” Kame says, “in order to lull you into a false sense of security. Now I've taken over the band, see. You let your guard down. Look, get _off_ my arm, Jin-”

Jin is trying to hide Kame's arm under himself so Kame holds his head down until he's breathing in duvet. When he splutters, Kame lets him go. 

“We're supposed to be mature adults,” he says.

“Yeah,” Jin says, his lips pursed in a mature sort of way. Kame's face creases into laughter and when Jin joins in, Kame plants a hand across his laughing mouth. Jin's eyes are bright and Kame feels a surge of _something_ in his stomach.

“Shut up,” he says, through snorts. “You'll wake Koki up.”

 

Jin watches balefully, barely dressed, as the cameramen set up home. It's going to be a tangle of bodies and wiring for the next four weeks, like filming a PV. He thinks he'd better get used to it. Kame's been up for hours, having fallen asleep in Jin's bed and then worried about it all morning. He keeps trying to apologise, following Jin all around the kitchen, but Jin's more interested in guzzling coffee than anything Kame is saying. Koki scrapes himself awake when he hears all the noise and sits in the corner looking unimpressed. 

“Man,” he says. “I hadn't realised how many there'd be. We're gonna have to be careful. My mum's gonna be watching this.”

“Mine, too,” Jin says, screwing up his face. “We'll need to have code words for stuff we don't want anybody else to know. Like: 'pineapple'. 'Pineapple' can be our code word for...”

“It's too obvious,” Kame says. “'Pineapple', seriously? You need something inconspicuous.”

“Oh,” Jin says, looking deflated. “What about 'watermelon'?”

“That's not very inconspicuous.”

“It's all in the way you use it.”

“I think we should use football metaphors,” Koki says. “You know. Score, free kick, penalty shoot out, red card. All that.”

“Yes,” Jin says, at the same time Kame says, “no”, so Jin just says “shut up” over Kame saying “you shut up” until Kame runs out of steam. 

“Yes,” Jin continues, victorious. “Fuck, think of all the possibilities. We could talk about the other guys, the other team! The opposition. And girls. If you pull, it's a goal. If you're trying to pull, you're lining up a free kick. Red card means you're out.”

“What about the offside rule?” Kame says, with all the smug superiority of somebody who's found a tiny flaw in a great plan.

“Simple,” Jin says. “No dirty tactics when fighting over a girl.”

“Huh,” Koki says. “I like that. A fight to the finish, huh?”

“What?” Jin says. “Nobody here has a girl. We won't need it.”

“Oh,” Koki says, feeling stupid about the images floating through his head, the idea of Kame and Jin in Jin's bed, kissing and touching each other's shoulders. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Just getting into the spirit of it.”

“Right,” Jin says. “So who's gonna teach Kame about football?”

“I know about football,” Kame says, defensively.

“Who's the national team captain?” Jin says.

“I...” Kame looks at Koki, who makes nonsensical gestures. 

“I know it,” he says, when Jin folds his arms. “I do know it!”

“Bullshit,” Jin says, grinning. “You don't have a clue. Koki, what the fuck are you doing? Are you a windmill? Stop it!”

“Kawaguchi,” Koki mouths. “KAWAGUCHI.”

“Kawaguchi!” Kame yells. 

“Yeah,” Jin says, rolling his eyes. “That's disallowed.”

“Fuck,” Kame says. “I hate football.”

“It'll be alright,” Koki says. “I'm team captain. I won't pass him the ball.”

“You are not and you will so,” Jin says, finishing his coffee and slinging the mug into the sink. Kame looks over his shoulder, looks down into the sink and for a moment their eyes meet, defiantly. Jin relents with a shrug of his shoulders and washes it up. 

“I think you're team captain,” Koki says, clapping Kame on the back as they leave the room. 

“You're my vice-captain,” Kame says, pleased.

“They don't have vice-captains in football!” Jin roars, from the kitchen.

“They do now,” Kame replies.

 

Jin's first shift doesn't go well. He's placed next to a rather curvaceous mannequin and told to corner guilty-looking men. Guilty-looking men are the target audience for overpriced female underwear, but Jin's hopeful smile certainly isn't reeling them in. Jin has more luck convincing passing girls to try on this or that. The staff do a good job of keeping Jin away from the attractive ones but the mental image of the girls in the changing rooms is enough. 

When a particularly hot blonde disappears behind the curtains with a tight navy set, Jin sets about picking discarded stock up from the floor. Anything that makes him look busy, that keeps the thoughts out of his head. It's been a while since he saw a girl in her underwear, saw anyone in their underwear. Not as long as LA ago but not that much more recent. The thought of the pretty blonde in his head isn't helping. Her boyfriend is hanging around outside the changing room; not very tall, bleached spiky hair, intimidating gaze-

Flustered, Jin stands up and runs headlong into a man who looks sheepish enough to contemplate talking about his girlfriend's bra size with a complete stranger. 

“I need something really big,” he says. 

“Oh,” Jin says. “We only go up to a triple E in the-”

“No, no!” the man says, waving his hand. “I mean something big-- to make up for this thing I did.”

“Okay,” Jin says, faintly waving in the direction of something with a tattoo motif. “What about this?”

“Um,” the man says. “That's...nice, but when I say big...”

“Oh,” Jin says. “Well, it comes in a set with these, um, nice French-”

“Yes, yes,” the man says. “But I mean that I did a really bad thing.”

“Right,” Jin says. “Suspenders?”

“Worse.”

“You can get these little body, um, suits,” Jin says. “In pink.”

“Still worse.”

“Fuck,” Jin says. “You could always just buy the whole store.”

Just as he's being glared at by his boss, the blonde tumbles out of the dressing room. She's wearing the barely-there navy bra and her jeans aren't done up. Her boyfriend looks murderous.

“Akanishi-san,” she calls. “What do you think?”

“I'll take whatever she's wearing,” the man says. 

“Yeah,” Jin says. “Me too.”

 

By contrast, the hitches on Koki's first shift are all technological. He does a couple of hours of training during the afternoon and battles with the satellite navigation system, which insists on shouting at him. Afterwards, he rushes home in the hope of getting Kame alone. When he gets back, Jin is playing on the Wii console and showing the director how best to throw a fishing line. 

“I'm back,” he says. “Kame home yet?”

“Nope,” Jin says. “How'd it go?”

“Alright,” Koki says, sitting down. “Gotta go back in a couple of hours. What about you?”

“Don't wanna talk about it,” Jin says. “But it's enough to say that they're finding me a new job.”

Koki raises an eyebrow, and takes up the other controller. “Thought you'd be in your element.”

“Yeah,” Jin says. “A bit too much.”

Koki snorts, reaches out and clutches Jin's knee with his hand. It manages to be disapproving, amused and supportive all at once. Jin marvels at things like that. The touch lingers on his skin and he opens his mouth to talk.

Kame comes through the door, his eyes all shiny. He looks tired, but happy. The words die in Jin's throat so when Kame sits down, Jin grabs one of his feet and rubs it hard. Kame shoves him, squirming with ticklishness, but slowly relents. Koki watches them, so easy with it. He can't even touch Kame without feeling nervous. 

“I think Jin and I are gonna make dinner,” Koki says. “You can put your feet up.”

“Mmm,” Kame says. “That'd be nice. Oh, is that Zelda?”

“Yeah,” Jin says, flicking the controller with his free hand. “I'm just throwing the line in, see, you have to get it just-”

It falls flat and he sighs. “Look, I'm really good at this, honest-” he says, to the camera. Eyes lidded, Kame reaches for the controller and flicks the line himself. It lands perfectly, first time. 

“I'm not making you any dinner,” Jin says. 

“Nngh,” Kame says. “There, harder.”

Koki goes to get a drink.

 

Kame talks to the camera about his day while Jin and Koki cook, huddled together in the kitchen and whispering conspiratorially. 

“So,” Koki says. “Akame is back.”

“What,” Jin says, turning over the beef skewers. 

“You and Kame,” Koki says. “What's the deal there.”

“No deal,” Jin says. “I'm being nice. We live together. No conflict. Everyone said we couldn't do it and we're doing fine-”

“No,” Koki says. “That's not what I meant.”

“It's been over for a long time,” Jin says. “The-”

“The what?”

“The everything,” Jin says. “We've been over for a long time. If you want-”

“We shouldn't talk about it now,” Koki says. 

“I'm just saying,” Jin says. “Go for it.”

“Are you sure?” Koki says. “You seem a bit weird about it.”

Jin pauses, looking at Koki over the steam and the smell of good food, everything that's domestic and normal and what he wants in life. 

“It's not him that I want now” he says. 

 

“Take the next left,” the satellite navigation lady with the irritatingly calm voice says. 

“No,” Koki says. “That's a dead end. That's definitely a dead end.”

“Take the next left,” she repeats nonchalantly.

“God,” Koki says. “Where the hell am I? Where is this? Is this near where- hang on, no-”

“Take the next right,” the satellite navigation says. 

“No,” Koki hisses, turning the navigation off and radioing in. 

“I'm not sure-” he begins, turning the car around with a wince. “Um, hello? I'm a bit lo-”

“Again?” his boss' voice is scratchy. He sounds annoyed but it could be the static.

“Well,” Koki says. “Tokyo's pretty big. Sorry.”

“Have you got the satellite navigation on?”

Koki stares at the dashboard with a sad expression. “I-”

“It'll help,” the boss says. “I'm very proud that all my cars have the latest systems.”

“Of course,” Koki says, feeling a pang of guilt. He flicks the switch and the light of the system illuminates the passenger seat. “Sorry, I'll get the hang of it.”

“Don't worry,” the boss says. “You're only on small journeys for a bit.”

“Oh,” Koki says. So this is a _small_ journey. “Thanks very much for the trouble.”

“Take the next right,” the satellite navigation says. 

“There you go,” the boss says. “She's always right, you know.”

Koki looks hard to his right, straight down another dead-end. He rests his head on the steering wheel. “Yeah,” he says. “Oh, yeah, I see that.”

 

When Koki comes back, it's past 1am. He's not expecting Kame to be up when he starts work at 7.30am, so he's surprised to see him curled up on the sofa watching an awful Steven Seagal film. 

“Can't sleep?” he asks. 

“Mm,” Kame says. “Can't switch off. Jin and I were playing poker but he fell asleep. Thought this would be suitably mindless.”

“Do you want something to eat?” Koki says, ignoring the image of Jin taunting Kame with a royal flush, Kame timidly unbuttoning his shirt. “I'm having something.”

“I'm alright,” Kame says, then, “I'll have a biscuit.”

“I'm the worst taxi driver in the world,” Koki says, coming back with biscuits and leftovers. “Really, the worst in the world.”

“You can't be that bad,” Kame says, smiling.

“I think it's revenge, for me sleeping in that taxi and ruining the special episode of Cartoon KAT-TUN. I definitely think that's it.”

“Why are you so bad?”

“I don't know where anything is,” Koki shrugs, with a smile. “And the satellite navigation won't stop shouting at me.”

“Oh,” Kame says. “I guess I never thought about how much taxi drivers have to know.”

“Yeah,” Koki says. “I could've been an underwear person, like Jin. That would've been cool.”

“I'm glad you're here,” Kame says. “With me. And not an underwear person.”

Koki smiles. “Me too,” he says. “They're-” he points at the cameras, slyly.

“Yep,” Kame says. “On 24 hours a day. I think we must be boring the fans to sleep. Do you think anyone watches at this time?”

“We'll find out,” Koki says. “If anybody's watching this,” he says, holding his cell up to the camera. “That's my e-mail address. E-mail us!”

“That was stupid,” Kame laughs. “You'll have to change your e-mail address now.”

“Ah, nobody's watching,” Koki says. “It's 1.30am. It's a school night! You should all be in bed!”

 

_E-mail from Maiko-chan to Koki, 1.43am:_

_Will you tuck me in?\^O^/_

 

“Holy shit,” Koki breathes, reading it.

 

Kame is refreshed when he wakes up the next morning. He and Koki brush their teeth in the mirror, nudging each other. Jin is trudging around in the kitchen, making breakfast. Kame's grateful for it as he hasn't planned his time very well. He'd been relying on snatching a quick slice of toast before running out the door. Jin cradles his coffee and cigarette in his hands as he watches the pair of them eat. He doesn't touch it himself. 

“Have they found you a new job yet?” Koki asks. Kame's head snaps around so fast Koki almost wants to duck. 

“New job?” Kame exclaims. “What happened to the old one?”

Jin makes a face. “It's too 6am for this conversation,” he says.

“Jin,” Kame says, frowning. He takes Jin's cigarette away, stubs it out on a nearby plant, hoping the camera hasn't seen it. 

“It didn't suit me,” Jin admits. “I mean. I wasn't very professional.”

“Oh,” Kame says. “Oh, God, you didn't grope somebody, did you?”

“No!” Jin says, quickly drinking his coffee. “Of course not. Who do you think I am?”

Koki quickly eats up, trying not to think about Jin manhandling somebody in a changing room. Usually, his fantasies involve Kame and tentative touching. Somehow it's a nice change.

“No,” Jin says. “I just...it was a bit...I think a change will be good.”

“I wish I could change,” Koki says. “You could've been a taxi driver. I could've sold underwear. Not interested, you kn-”

He stops when he remembers the cameras but a knowledgeable look passes between them. Kame hops to his feet, grabs his bag and smiles at them both. No point in worrying about it. The only way to be in love with Jin and still be around him is not to worry about him. And Koki, well. They've done a good job of covering up his sexuality so far. It'll all work out, one way or another.

“Thanks for breakfast,” he says. 

“'Welcome,” Jin says. “Have a good day.”

 

_Interview with Koki Tanaka and the director, recorded Wednesday 07/05, 3.34pm. Notable for the continual interference of Akanishi Jin._

**D: How are you finding the experience so far?**  
K: I feel more connected to everybody than before...it's been good. It's been good.  
 **D: Are you finding it difficult, to be filmed this much?**  
K: It's strange, isn't it? I think the fans will get to see another side of us, though. The response so far has been great.  
 **D: You gave out your e-mail address on film!**  
K: I...[laughs] At least nobody can say I'm not invested in a good show!  
 **D: Have you had a lot of e-mails?**  
K: A lot. I don't think my cell is coping. It's great to get fan messages.  
 **D: Lastly, do you think you'd ever live with a member of the band, after this?**  
K: No. [laughs] Kidding, kidding!  
A: You'd live with me.   
K: I definitely wouldn't! You're too messy!  
A: I wouldn't live with you, either. 

 

They sit on the balcony afterwards, Jin still giggling over the interview. 

“What do you mean?” Koki exclaims. “You wouldn't live with me? I'm a great housemate! I cook, I-”

“I was just trying to wind you up,” Jin grins. “You don't want to live with me!”

“You leave wet towels everywhere,” Koki says. “And you can't cook.”

“I can so,” Jin says. “Plus I'm entertaining.”

“So's a lion,” Koki says. “Doesn't mean I wanna live with it.”

“You'd definitely live with me,” Jin says. “Me or Kame? Come on, choose.”

“Kame,” Koki says abruptly and Jin's face kind of falls before he has the sense to pick it up.

 

Koki thinks about what he said for a while afterwards. He watches Jin on the balcony, sneaking a cigarette. Kame makes sense, Jin doesn't. Koki doesn't know how to respond to Jin. He's never known how to respond to Jin.

The cameraman follows him into the kitchen and Koki taps on the glass. Jin jumps, throws the cigarette butt over the balcony. 

“Sneaky,” Jin says to the cameraman, coming back into the kitchen. 

 

What's weird about working apart is that there's no back-up, Jin thinks. When you screw up, there's nobody to laugh about it with. You just have to be better next time. In the meantime everybody stares at you because you're new and nobody special and Jin's not used to that feeling. He's so used to feeling part of a team that the displacement unnerves him. 

Not being good enough, that frustrates him. Not being able to see something to its completion is frustrating too. It isn't worth thinking about but Jin wonders what he'll do after JE, wonders whether he'll still have the chances he has now. 

“We found something for you,” the director says to Jin as Koki leaves, a flurry of jacket and grumbling in his boots. Jin's trying to say goodbye but Koki waves and dashes for the train before he can get the words out. 

“Jin?”

“Oh, great,” Jin says, crossing his fingers, a tingle of excitement despite himself. It can only be better than selling underwear. 

“You're going to work behind a bar,” the director says. Jin thinks for a minute, and then a big smile spreads across his face.

 

“I get to work in a bar!” Jin is saying, all high-pitched and excited and Kame wants to die with embarrassment. 

“Jin,” he says. “I'm at _work_.”

“Sorry,” Jin says. “Koki wouldn't pick up. But – at a bar! Isn't that cool? I get to make cocktails and sleep in every morning. It's going to be great.”

“Jin,” Kame says. “I'm at _work_.”

“Alright, alright,” Jin says. “Spoilsport. I know you're really happy for me.”

When Kame hangs up, he finds himself smiling. It doesn't do, so he wipes it off when he joins the other girls back on the shop floor. 

“I'd like to see everybody sell an item today,” their manager is saying in a tone devoid of any expression. “Including yourself, Kamenashi-kun. You saw how it was done yesterday. Do you think you're up for it?”

“Am I ever,” Kame says. “Yes, I can do it.”

“Good,” she says. “Stop smiling like an idiot and get out there.”

 

Koki's first real customer is Ryo. 

“Roppongi Hills Keyakizaka Dori please,” Ryo says, with a grin that can only be used for evil. 

“Take the next left,” the satellite navigation says, after Koki taps in the address. 

“That's not right,” Ryo says, as Koki pulls away. 

“I know,” Koki says. “It's alright, I'm ignoring her. Are you looking for Jin? He doesn't work there any-”

Koki's cell rings. Quick as a flash, Ryo darts for it. Koki regards him with narrow eyes as he giggles in the passenger seat.

“Jin,” he says. “No, I'm with Koki. Yeah, total coincidence, I swear. How's it going? Are you...Jin, are you _clubbing_? You're supposed to be working! You- hang on.”

He holds the 'phone up to Koki's ear. 

“I'm working in a club!” Jin says. 

“Man,” Koki says. “That's the dumbest idea they've ever come up with. Good for you.”

“Shut up,” Jin says. “Put Ryo back on.”

“Are you drunk already?” Ryo says. “You sound wasted. What? You're working at a bar? Who the hell thought that one up? I thought you were-”

“Ryo,” Koki says, wearily. “Those cameras are on.”

“Gotta go,” Ryo says. “I'm being censored.”

 

“How are you finding it?” Ryo asks. “The challenge? Can't believe Jin's betrayed me. He was supposed to be at the dirty shop.”

“Take the next right,” the satellite navigation says. “And you have reached your destination.”

“I'm nowhere near Roppongi Hills,” Koki says. “That should answer your question.”

“Can't you switch her off?” Ryo frowns. Yamapi has satellite navigation and Jin always stops talking when the lady does as he thinks it's rude to interrupt. Ryo doesn't travel with them. 

“Feel guilty,” Koki says. “The boss spent a lot of money on it. How did you end up with me, anyway? Or is this pure coincidence?”

“I asked for you,” Ryo says. He leans forward, taps the camera on the rear-view mirror. “Man, that's pretty flash.”

“Yep,” Koki says, taking the next left. The satellite navigation is stunned into silence. “Say hi, Ryo.”

“Hi, Ryo,” Ryo says. 

 

E-mail sent to Koki's 'phone, 10.56am:

_Wow Ryo is sooooo hot! Hi Ryo from your biggest fan Mariko*_*_

 

“You gave out your e-mail address,” Ryo says, in disbelief. “On television.”

“I didn't think anybody would be awake!” Koki splutters. “Say hi to Mariko.”

“Hi, Mariko,” Ryo says, v-signing the camera. “God, you're all stupid,” he continues. “KAT-TUN is the stupidest band in JE. More stupid per person than any other act.”

“Take the next left,” the satellite navigation says. 

“Maybe we should hire this woman, then,” Koki says. “Seems we'd get along well.”

 

“They look gorgeous on you,” Kame says. The girl is probably all of seventeen years old but she looks twenty-five. She turns in front of the full-length mirror, admiring the shoes from every angle. She has delicate ankles. Kame likes her delicate ankles, which is why he suggested slender little silver-strapped shoes. She looks like a pixie. 

“Yes,” her mother is saying. “She seems to have a knack for it but the price tag is my concern.”

“Well,” Kame says. “This may be bit more than you were expecting to pay, but you really are investing in quality. You could find something a bit cheaper elsewhere, but chances are it won't last. It's well-worth shelling out more on an investment.”

“I suppose so,” she says. “You should've seen the ones she wanted in the last place. Washington Shoes?”

“Oh,” Kame says. “Yeah, those shoes don't have our longevity at all. And these ones suit her so well – quality shoes shine on the right girl.”

“Well,” the girl says. “I'm sold. Can I have both?”

“Both?” Kame says, looking around for an elusive second pair of shoes.

It's the first sale of four for him and he goes home elated with his commission. 

 

Koki walks into the apartment later, confused over Jin and Kame and his feelings for each of them and them together. It's a relief to be at work because at least there it doesn't matter that he's so lost. Jin is wandering around wet from his shower in black pants that cling. Koki's never noticed what Jin's wearing before. 

“Hi,” he says. The camera doesn't move away from Jin and onto Koki, which makes Koki laugh. They know their target audience. His own eyes don't move, either. 

“Satellite navigation still giving you trouble?” Jin says, running his fingers into his hair and sending spray all over the kitchen. 

“Yeah. We could still swap,” Koki says, sinking into the sofa with a sigh. “I'd be a fantastic barman.”

“Heh,” Jin says. “Nice try.”

“Anyway, are any of your other friends turning up?” Koki asks. Jin practices throwing a cocktail shaker around. He's not good but it looks natural. Pretty much like everything Jin does.

“I didn't know Ryo would,” Jin says. “I think Pi's too busy. Sorry about that.”

“It's okay,” Koki says. “I was just wondering. Might send some of my friends to the bar.”

“Cool,” Jin says, casually. “I'm getting good at this.”

“Jin,” Koki says. 

“Yeah?”

“Do you wanna go out and play football? We could teach Kame something.”

“Sure,” Jin says. “Too warm to be inside, anyway.”

 

When Kame gets back to the apartment, he throws his wallet and keys down and grabs a drink of orange juice. He turns and notices that Koki is tying up his trainers and Jin is jogging around the living room. 

“What's going on?” Kame says. “I-”

“Wow,” Jin says, looking at the money in Kame's wallet. “Somebody did well today.”

“Hands off,” Kame says. “I earned that. What's going on?”

“We're going to play football,” Koki says. “Before Jin goes to work. Get him in the right mood. Come with us.”

“Alright,” Kame says, grabbing his keys. Koki looks him up and down, in his smart trousers, clean shirt, leather shoes. 

“I'm not playing,” Kame says. 

“Spoilsport,” Jin says. 

“They're not filming us,” Koki says. “They're going to take arty pictures instead.”

“Oh,” Kame says, grabbing a pair of trainers from the shoe-rack. “That's alright, then.”

 

Kame ends up down in the mud, Koki laughing on top of him. Jin stands with his hands on his hips and a cross expression on his face.

“You can't do that in football,” he says. 

“Kame can do whatever he wants,” Koki says. “He's the captain.”

“Thanks,” Kame says. “So can you, because you're the vice-captain.”

“I hate you both,” Jin says. “You're both stupid and useless and I wouldn't pick you for my team. _And there are no vice-captains in football_.”

“That's fine,” Koki says. “We'll have our own team.”

Jin sits down on the muddy grass, re-ties his trainers. “Talking of teams. Maru reckons that there are two different shows. He e-mailed me today.”

Kame frowns. “The director asked me about that in my interview. Do you think they would?”

Jin shrugs. “Competition? I wouldn't put it past them. I bet they're picking what they show, what they don't. I mean, come on. If they made two shows, it's more money, isn't it? Maybe he's trying to work out who the popular members are-”

Koki pulls a face. “It's harder than I thought, being filmed all the time.”

“Yeah,” Kame says. “I thought it'd be easy. They tried to get me in the shower this morning. And we can't talk the way we normally do. It's not what I expected.”

“I think we should just be ourselves,” Jin says. “Fuck it. Maybe Johnny wants us to seem real. Maybe he's sick of projecting an image.”

“Johnny's never sick of projecting an image,” Kame says. “We'll be expected to represent the company at all times.”

“So? I mean-”

“It's easy for you to say, Jin,” Kame says. “You're yourself, anyway. And people accept that. I don't know that they would for me or Koki.”

“I think that's unfair,” Koki says, surprised by himself as Kame turns his head and raises his eyebrows. “Jin's popular because he's himself. I think we could learn from that. It's better than secretly wanting to kill each other.”

“I don't want to kill anyone,” Kame says. 

Koki looks at him and slowly so does Jin.

“Alright,” Kame says. “Jin, you leave toothpaste everywhere and it's annoying. Koki, you sing in the shower in the morning and I like it to be quiet. You're both pretty bad at cooking and you leave your shoes all over the hallway.”

“Okay,” Jin says. “I'll try harder. But you never do the washing up.”

“True,” Koki says. “But Jin, your attempts at washing up are complete crap.”

“Okay,” Kame says. “I think the point is that we all know how to annoy each other. So let's stop and make this work. Ignore the competition stuff, ignore the rumours. We'll show the fans that we're still in the game and management that if they want conflict, they won't get it from us.”

“Okay,” Jin says. 

“Okay,” Koki agrees. They shake on it, all three hands in a circle, then head off home to squabble over the order of the showers.

 

Jin is halfway behind the door when Koki reaches around and grabs his shirt.

“I called it,” he's saying, the camera up against his back and Jin's giggling clear behind the door. 

“Not in my world,” Jin says. “You didn't use the secret code.”

“I'm not using secret code,” Koki says. “Let me in.”

“No,” Jin says. “I called it.”

There's a pause, and Koki looks straight at the camera, covered in mud and fury. “If you want to vote Jin out of the house, please e-mail me. The more support I get, the-”

Jin's hand comes out and he pulls Koki through the door, shutting it before the cameraman can get through. The giggling gets louder until the cameraman retreats.

 

“What did you mean, the other day?” Koki asks, as they butt heads trying to use the same shower. “When you said Kame wasn't the one?”

Jin shrugs, letting the water run down the back of his neck. “Just that it's over, that's all.”

“Yeah, but it means there's a one you do want.”

“Yeah,” Jin says, but doesn't elaborate. Koki feels awkward and doesn't want to push it. Jin's shoulders are tense, his eyes closed and his mouth firm. Koki wonders if it's Yamapi or Ryo. Or some girl Koki's not met. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Koki says. 

“No,” Jin says. “They like somebody else.”

“Oh,” Koki says. “Shit. That's rough, I'm sorry.”

“It's not your fault,” Jin says, grabbing a towel from the rack. It's slightly damp and he grimaces. “You can't help it.”

Koki turns, when he realises what Jin means in the quiet whoosh of the door shutting.

 

Having lost the fight, Kame's in the kitchen reading a magazine. He looks ridiculous, caked in dried mud.

“Bathroom's free,” Jin says, strolling in wearing a towel. Jin's hardly ever clothed around the apartment, Kame thinks, but it isn't his problem. It shouldn't be. He makes it his problem, of course, but he really _shouldn't_.

“Thanks,” he says, pushing the rest of his juice towards Jin and heading for the bathroom. Jin sits, waits for a second with a tentative smirk on his face, and then-

“Jin!” Kame yells. “The bathroom _isn't_ free!”

“Oh,” Jin says. “Sorry. Thought Koki was done!”

 

It's only later, when the anger seems extreme, that Kame whispers the truth in Jin's ear. 

“Oh,” Jin says. “Fuck. I wouldn't have- if I'd known he was doing-”

“I know,” Kame says. “Just, apologise, alright? You know how private he is. And for God's sake, don't do it on-camera!”

 

“You never mean to do anything,” Koki says, later. They're in the bathroom and it's nearly 11pm, Jin's about to head off for work.

“Obviously, I didn't know,” Jin says. “I wouldn't have sent him in there, if I'd known-”

“You're just,” Koki says. “Everywhere. You're so in your face, Jin. I didn't need him to see that. I really didn't. I wish-”

“I know you didn't,” Jin says. “I know you want to be this...thing, for Kame, but-”

“Just shut up,” Koki says. “Shut up, Jin. You don't get it. And you're going to be late for work.”

“It's not worth being something you're not,” Jin says, as he leaves the room. “I'm sorry. I just wanted to say that.”

“What he wants, it's more than-”

“He liked me,” Jin says, his throat scratching. “And I was really bad for him. You don't have to be anything but yourself.”

 

The club gets busy around midnight and despite himself, Jin doesn't feel sad that he can't go out and dance. Somehow he feels part of the atmosphere. He can churn out drinks fast, he's learning about flavours and cocktail recipes and he's enjoying predicting the drinks people will ask for. He's picking up a lot of female attention too, never a bad thing.

The other staff seem to like him but they're not so keen on all the extra attention. The club is busier than it ever has been before, the manager admits. Jin does his best not to need help too often – but when he does, he asks Aimi. She's small and slender, with wrists that don't look strong enough to hold up a glass. Her eyebrows are severe but he doesn't mind that, or her strong flat jaw, her cocksure attitude. He's noticed that whenever he asks for help she slyly brushes her skin against his.

He doesn't mind that, either. 

The bass rolls up through the floor and Jin pours out drinks as he moves, takes money over shouting and the odd stare. Before he knows it, the night is almost over. The overheard light throws silver down onto a sticky floor and in the corners, stray clubbers kiss against the walls. 

“Dance with me,” he says to Aimi. She holds out her hand and joins him. The music is faint and the club is dark but the press of her small body against him is loud and clear. 

“Do you live alone?” he says in her ear. 

“I have a flatmate,” she says. “She's a heavy sleeper.”

“That'll do.”

 

Koki sticks his head around Kame's door. 

“Vice captain requests a team meeting,” he says. When Kame looks up, he waggles his eyebrows in a way that's drunken and nervous. Kame meets him in their safe place two minutes later. Koki's never been so glad that Johnny Kitagawa has some concept of personal privacy. 

Kame sits on the edge of the bath. Koki drops to the floor alongside the wall. 

“I wanted to apologise for earlier,” he says. 

“It's cool,” Kame says, with a shrug. “I'm sorry if it embarrassed you. There's no need to be.”

“I'm not embarrassed because I was caught,” Koki says. He swallows the fear in his throat. “I'm embarrassed because it was you.”

Kame frowns. “I'm not that much of a prude, am I? I've tried, since-”

“No, no,” Koki says. “That's not what I meant. I didn't want you to see me. You know.”

“Why? I know everybody does it. I lived with Jin for two years, for-”

“I know,” Koki says. “I know you did. I know. I just, I didn't. I don't want to be Jin. Do you want me to be Jin?”

Kame looks totally confused. “No,” he says. “I think one of Jin is enough. What's going on, Koki?”

“I want not to look stupid in front of you,” Koki says. “I want you to think things about me that aren't...that. I want you to think well of me.”

“I do think well of you,” Kame says. “This doesn't change anything.”

“Kame,” Koki says, his voice low, his eyes searching. “You know what I mean.”

There's a long pause.

“I know how you feel,” Kame says, closing his eyes. 

“Well?” Koki says. “ _Well_?”

 

“Fuck,” Jin says, finally. Nothing is working, not even his favourite fantasy. 

People always say don't mix work and pleasure. Given his history with Kame, Jin should have listened. Working with Aimi will be impossible now. 

“Was it me?” she says, as he hangs off the bed trying to find his jeans. 

“No,” he lies, a guilty feeling in his stomach. It wasn't for lack of trying, he thinks. At least you tried. “No, it wasn't. Sometimes it just happens. I'm sorry. It really wasn't.”

“Can we see each other again?”

“At work,” he says, realising too late that he sounds callous but not knowing how to change it. All he wants is to go home, go to bed. 

“Okay,” she says. “Okay. So it was me, then.”

“No, it-” he begins, resisting the urge to punch his fist through the wall. It's humiliating enough for him, without the dissection. It's never happened to him before. Never. “It _wasn't_.”

“Then come out with me again,” she says. 

“I can't,” he says. “I'm sorry.”

“What's the male equivalent of a pricktease?” she spits. “Because that's what you are.”

 

He forgets until he pushes the door open, about the cameras. It's the last thing he wants, the last thing he needs. 

“Jin,” Kame says, coming out of his room. He looks wrecked. 

“I can't,” Jin says. “Just go to sleep. It'll be better in the morning.”

Heading off to bed, he sets his alarm for midday and tries to block out the world.

 

Koki pushes Jin's door open the next morning in the hope of getting breakfast, because he can't face asking Kame. Jin hasn't bothered to shut his blinds so the dawn light is piercing when Koki sticks his head around the door. 

Jin is curled up in the sheets so tightly Koki's surprised he can breathe. His right hand has fallen down beside his face and with his mouth relaxed and the morning light on his jaw he looks beautiful. 

Koki shuts the door with tingling hands and heads for the kitchen. Kame's tried to make soup but it isn't as good as Jin's. 

“We could meet up and have lunch,” Koki says, after a few mouthfuls. “We could tal-”

“I'll see you when I'm back. Is Jin up yet?” Kame says, with a face that's _please just do as I say_ , and Koki just stares into his soup. 

“No,” Koki says. “Why?”

“Last night, he said-” Kame cuts off, shaking his head. He stirs his spoon around but doesn't eat.

“About last n-” Koki begins, then sighs. “Just think about it.”

Kame nods, grabs his jacket and leaves. His soup is untouched, so Koki finishes it. 

 

When Jin wakes up, there's nobody around. He considers 'phoning Maru but he figures that he's stronger than that. Instead, he lies on the sofa, picks up his guitar. Tries out a few lyrics, a few chords, not worrying about the cameras. His cell beeps, but he ignores it. 

 

_Interview with Akanishi Jin and the director, recorded Sunday 11/05, 5.15pm._

**D: Have there been any problems so far?**  
A: I've never had a normal job, so it's been a good experience. I've learnt that sometimes it's important to be quiet and listen. I'm pretty talkative but sometimes you need to let other people speak more.   
**D: What about living with your bandmates?**  
A: No problems.  
 **D: Really?**  
A: Yeah. I mean, we've been together for so long, we know each other really well. The only difficulty is being filmed all the time. I think if there's tension, that's why. I hope the fans are enjoying it though.  
 **D: Do you have anything to say to the fans right now?**  
A: Speak your mind but allow other people to, too. And enjoy life. Every job has something good in it, every life. Enjoy what you can. And keep watching!  
 **D: And Koki, and Kame?**  
A: I've enjoyed living with you guys. Thanks for helping me learn. Let's continue to bond with each other.

 

Koki's cell goes off as he's struggling in Shinjuku at rush hour. Every so often somebody plants a hand on the side window, faint squealing in the distance. He does his best to ignore it. He's not sure he's cut out to be a taxi driver. Or an anything, really. 

The very last moment he wanted to confess his feelings to Kame was in a bathroom, in a house where the cameras are only ever feet away. And Kame's _face_ , so conflicted, so unsure-

It no longer seems to matter that Kame's thinking about it, that he has feelings to think about. It no longer seems to matter that there might be hope. All Koki can think about is the look on Kame's face, the one that he never seems to use around Jin.

That and the fact that he can't stop thinking about Jin, either. 

E-mail to Koki, from Kame. Sent Sunday 11/05 at 2.10pm.

_I thought about it. I really did. I just-- I didn't want to be the person who went from Jin to...you know. I didn't want anybody to think badly of me. I like you. You know I do, I think. I just-- two out of a six-member band? You know?_

 

E-mail to Kame, from Koki. Sent Sunday 11/05 at 4.10pm.

_On my break. Look, I get it, but...fuck it. I don't care about the past. I want the future._

 

E-mail to Jin, from Kame. Sent Sunday 11/05 at 2.08pm.

_Did you get my previous mail? I don't want to annoy you, I just-- we need to talk about stuff. Maybe not now, I don't know. What happened last night? I'm on break. Call me if you're free._

E-mail to Jin, from Koki. Sent Sunday 11/05 at 4.11pm.

_Can we talk? I think we need to._

 

When Jin gets to work, Aimi ignores him, which he supposes he deserves. There's a cruel pang of pleasure in his gut because his cock was fine in the shower this morning, when he thought about Koki until-

He turns his cell off, which is when he remembers all the beeping from earlier. Scrolling through the messages, his eyes blur over. 

“Fuck,” he mutters to himself. The last thing he wants to come home to is Koki and Kame, all sorted and happy and fluffy, things Jin no longer recognises in Kame. Not for the first time in his life, he wishes he could be better, wishes he knew how to do it. 

 

E-mail to Kame, Koki. Sent Sunday 11/05 at 10.11pm.

_I'll talk to you both when I get home. Wait up._

 

Koki and Kame sit in the kitchen playing cards and drinking (it's a good way of ensuring the footage won't get screened, according to Jin). Kame is so nervous that his free hand is shaking and Koki can see it in his eyes. Neither of them are brave enough to admit it. Koki is waiting for Jin because Jin always knows how to sort stuff out and Kame's waiting for Jin because that's what Kame does. 

“Wow,” Kame says. “You're crap at poker.”

“I know,” Koki says, with a smile. “It's not my game. It'll work out because you're my captain. I can learn from you. We can work it out together.”

“I don't think you're ever going to improve,” Kame says. “Sorry to say. Also, you've had too much beer.”

“I'm not talking about poker,” Koki says. “And you know it.”

“Did you ever teach Kame about football?” the director asks, unusually. Kame looks up, startled. He's forgotten that they aren't alone. 

“We tried,” Koki says. “He still doesn't really understand the offside rule.”

“Football isn't baseball,” Kame says, ruefully. “All the players, all the positions, it gets confusing. I like one guy, with an aim.”

“Football has that,” Koki says. “Only they all have different aims. They have to work as a team to unite their aims.”

“Sometimes it's just about you and the ball,” Kame says. “Sometimes you're on your own.”

“Yeah,” Koki says. “I guess that's what this challenge has been about, hasn't it.”

“Has it made you feel lonely?” the director asks. 

“Sometimes,” Koki says. 

“Yeah,” Kame agrees. 

 

When Jin comes home, the apartment is deathly quiet. He's exhausted and full of music, full of lights. He doesn't hear the noise in the bathroom until he walks past and suddenly he's dragged into the room. Kame is sitting on the floor and Koki pins Jin up against the wall, a hand across his mouth as he shuts the door. 

“We're having a meeting,” he says. “We all need to talk.”

Jin nods, biting Koki's fingers when he doesn't move them. Koki narrows his eyes at him, but doesn't comment. 

“Are you screwing,” Jin asks, with his usual cavalier attitude. Koki's jaw drops. 

“No,” Kame says, not missing a beat. Enough passes in that moment, that millisecond's pause-- Koki suddenly realises why they're such a big deal, why the history is so vast. Enough passes between their eyes that the millisecond lasts for hours. “We're not.”

“Okay,” Jin says. “But that's where you're going, right. I'm not stupid.”

Kame stands up, holds his chin high and defiant. It makes Jin's eyes a strange colour and Koki watches, transfixed. “You never let me go,” Kame says. “We never let go.”

Jin studies him. “Yeah, we did,” he says. “I went to LA. I let go.”

“No,” Kame says. “We need to let go. I didn't want to be a person you thought less of. I want this. I want something else, now. I just didn't want anybody to think badly of me. Your opinion still means the fucking...it still means a lot. I wish it didn't, it'd be easier.”

“I wish it didn't,” Jin says. “I wish a lot of things. I wish we didn't have the same taste in people, for a start.” There's a laugh on his lips, but the words aren't funny. 

Kame frowns, then, startled out of the connection. He looks at Koki, who winces a bit, then says quietly, “He...it. Me. There's feeling.”

“Thanks for that,” Jin says. “You talk like you rap, total nonsense.”

“Hey!” Koki says. “Speak for yourself. You're the one who's always flirting with _everybody_ , it's not my fault I'm confused. It's not. I-”

“Confused?” Kame says. “You're not the only one.”

“For fuck's sake,” Jin says. “You're a pair of fucking idiots. I like Koki. And yeah, I'll let you go. It's about fucking time. If you want, you don't need my permission. Just be fluffy, or happy, or whatever. It's fine.”

“That's just it,” Koki says. “I thought things were simple. I thought it was Kame. It is about Kame, I mean-- it's. I just, it's more complicated. It's you, too. It has been, for a while.”

They look at each other, the light suddenly moving into Kame's eyes. Jin studies Koki in the way he does, with the jaw uplifted and the eyes all dark. When Kame moves it startles Koki away from Jin, yanks him into something that he doesn't recognise. Something that trembles in his lungs, turns his breath into sand.

Kame moves across the room so fast his body blurs and when he kisses Jin, his shadow seems to catch up, crashing black light into them, into everything, so that the kiss is black too. 

When he breaks apart, when he kisses Koki next-- Jin's kiss is treacle on Kame's lips. 

 

It's not the way anything has ever gone for Koki before. His life has always told him that newly-discovered passion is raw and fast and hard. Kame's fingertips on his collarbone still him like water and the hand he raises to Jin is slower than that. Jin comes to his side and there's another warm mouth on his neck and that, _that_ roots him to the ground as though he's made of iron. 

There's awkwardness to it, because the bathroom is all they have. The windows black with the sky, the room cold and clean, Kame putting the shower on. Steam fills the room and obscures their hands slowly removing Koki's clothes. 

“I thought things were complicated,” Koki says, his voice struggling to reach his ears through the steam. 

“Shut up,” Jin says. “You just make them that way. You both do.”

“Take your pants off,” Kame says. 

“See,” Jin says. “Simple. Follow your captain, Koki.”

“Are you following me, then,” Koki says, pulling Kame's shirt over his head.

“No,” Jin says, leaning in for a kiss. “There are no vice-captains in football.”

 

Jin's hair sticks to his head under the spray. Koki can see how Kame's mouth looks around the contour of his neck, as though he's prey. Kame stands with his back against the wall and Jin in front of him, as if he's handing him over-- and Koki supposes he is, letting go. He stands and tentatively strokes Jin's hips, trying to contain himself. The room seems to be swaying. Kame undoes a tight knot in Jin and the noise cuts through steam like steel. 

“Fuck,” Koki whispers.

“Suck him off,” Kame says. “He wants you to-”

Koki looks at Jin, whose eyes are lidded. “You heard him,” he says lazily, and Kame bites him until he closes his mouth.

“Is this alright,” Koki says, to Kame. 

“Yes,” Kame says. “After this, it's...over. This is the last of it.”

“You make me sound like a half-empty sauce bottle,” Jin complains. “My sauce bottle is always full.”

“Letting go,” Koki says, with a smile. “That-”

“My sauce bottle,” Jin says, with feeling. “Is always _full_.”

“Alright, alright,” Koki says. “Was he always this bossy?”

“Always,” Kame says. “Jin, shut up, or I'll make him stop.”

“He hasn't started yet,” Jin says. “So that's not much of a threat.”

Koki delights in the press of Kame's hand on top of his skull, as he falls down onto his knees. 

 

Jin makes delightful noises, which Koki kind of expected, only-- the reality of them is so much better. He squeezes his eyes tight in a way that Koki never expected, in a way he can't stop watching as he slides his tongue underneath Jin's cock, right into the spot that makes him jerk, hard.

“Bastard,” Jin manages to stutter, clutching on Kame's forearm so tight he leaves imprints.

“Quiet,” Kame says, and when Jin moans out submission, he moans, too. It jerks Koki's eyes back upwards, the sight of them both undone making his spine tingle. Jin is almost lying back in Kame's arms, reliant and horny and needy and dissolving, and Koki tightens his mouth to see what noises he can make. To see how far he can push. When he sucks, hard, the way Jin seems to love-- he notices that Kame is nudging his hips against Jin's ass, and that is-

“Fuck, fuck, _yes_ ,” Jin is saying. Kame's eyes go from lidded to aware and something seems to turn over in his brain.

“Get up,” he says to Koki. 

“ _No_ ,” Jin says and Koki's never heard his voice that high.

“Shut up, Jin,” Kame says. “Koki, get up.”

Koki's not cruel. He passes Jin's cock from mouth to hand but Jin's stomach tightens painfully nonetheless and Koki feels a pang of sympathy. When he stands up, his own knees are shaking and he's heavy between his legs and Kame's eyes are even cloudier close up than they looked from the floor. Kame turns, pushing he and Jin off from the wall. Reaching out, he brings Koki close so that Jin is sandwiched between them. 

“Jin,” he says. “Touch Koki.”

Jin does but only because he's lost the will to fight, because Jin has a tunnel-vision that seeks out pleasure and cares about nothing else, even humiliation. Koki leans into it, a hard guttural groan escaping his throat. Jin has hands that are as straightforward as he is. As he's sinking into it, Kame takes Koki's hand and moves it around Jin's hip. Before he knows it, Koki is following Jin's rhythm, falling into it with his fist around Kame-- and Kame moans, full and thick. 

It's only when Jin growls at him, pushing his hips forward, that Koki remembers to move around him too. When he tightens up, moves fast and hard, he's rewarded with the sight of both Jin and Kame moving forward against him, into him. Two orbits of pleasure, both tied to Koki, both drawn to his hand, both drawn to his-- the ego boost is galactic.

“Fuck,” Jin is saying. “Fuck, yes, there, please, God, _please_ -”

“He never lasts,” Kame retorts. “Slow down.”

“I'm going to fucking hit you,” Jin spits. “I'm going to fucking kill yo-”

“Shut up,” Koki says, tightening his fist and ignoring the strain on his wrists. “Both of you. You're both fucking divas. You're both-- just, shut up.”

A blissful silence falls, punctuated with grunts and little gasps, sounds of submission and dreams and history and everything Koki used to be so afraid of, moving for him beneath his hands. History becomes present, becomes future, wrapped around his skin. Moving together, he has no idea where he starts, Jin begins, Kame ends. He passes a kiss down, through Jin and onto Kame. It's messy and full of feeling, full of words he can't fit into his mouth. 

Kame's hand moves around Jin's hip and wraps around Koki's, squeezing. It makes Jin jerk forward with a cry, and Koki smiles through the white light and the roar in his head and the scream of his stomach muscles as oblivion swallows him. In the distance, beneath the rapid thrum of his blood, he hears Kame cry out. 

 

_Interview with Kamenashi Kazuya, Koki Tanaka, Jin Akanishi and the director, recorded Friday 30/05, 4.15pm._

 

**D: Are you sad to be leaving the real world behind?**  
Kame: Obviously glad to be returning to the band's activities but also sad, too.  
Koki: We learnt a lot.   
Jin: About everything.  
 **D: What do you think was the most important lesson you learnt from this?**  
Koki: To have respect for people and more confidence in myself. I'll never need to use a map ever again. My days of being lost are over. [laughs]  
Jin: To just live life and not push so hard all the time. You can be happy in different ways. I learnt that it's not all a competition. Obviously it won't last!  
Kame: I learnt that the offside rule is when a player is closer to the goal than all of the opposing defenders-- when there aren't enough players to oppose him and he gains an advantage from it it can't be allowed. The offside trap is a strategy employed by defenders to force their opponents to play offside!   
Jin: Very useful.   
Koki: It only took a month!  
 **D: How is that useful to you in ordinary life?**  
Kame: Don't be the player caught playing offside. If you're not being challenged enough or if you're playing alone, you'll be unhappy.   
**D: So the important thing in life is to be challenged?**  
Kame: I think the important thing in life is to challenge yourself and allow others to challenge you. Otherwise, it's too easy and you get bored and you don't improve. Life is all about improving yourself, being a better player, right?  
Jin: He's reading out of a magazine, by the way.   
Koki: The important thing is that he challenged himself to learn!  
Kame: That's right!  
Jin: That's cheating, though.  
 **D: Say one last thing to your fans before you go.**  
Jin: Don't cheat in your tests like Kame.   
Koki: Hang up your towels properly.   
Kame: Buy shoes from Ginza Kanematsu. They're not only beautiful but practical, too!  
Koki: Kame's not returning to the band, he's staying at Ginza Kanematsu forever.  
Jin: Good.  
Kame: Hey!

 

A month on, Koki and Kame go out on their first official date to a baseball match.

Jin goes on to shoot for July's _Popeye_ , in which he quickly undoes all his good work instructing the youth of Japan. 

Junno is told never to return to the world of assistant teaching.


End file.
